I Suck.

I am Mirabai Sebastian and I suck.

I've been thinking about what to post for this for a while now. But It's come to a point where it's write or fail. Well, I probably won' fail yet just because of one essay that I haven't written, but you get the point.

I think we all suck in our own little ways. We're a balance of complete loser and total awesomeness. But we often fail to see the difference. I still don't know which part of me is which. Most of the time, my friends tell me suck because of something awesome I did. Then they go ahead and tell me I'm awesome, sarcastically, after I do something wrong. That doesn't exactly help, does it?

So, why do I suck? I suck because I am completely stupid when it comes to academic shit. I'm not even kidding. I wish I could say otherwise, but it would be a lie. I suck because, make me take a test on some science or something completely academic and I will fail. I'll study all night and still fail. That's because all I am is street smart. Make me read a textbook, I'll fall asleep. Make me read a book, I'll start zoning out and doodling or daydreaming about being anywhere but there, reading a book.

I suck because when I was in grade five, my teacher told my dad to bring me to the eye doctor to have my eyes checked because she thought something was wrong with my eyesight. Although I knew that the only thing wrong was that I didn't know how to read. Even as a fifth grader, I sucked.

I suck because I turn into a monster when I drive. That doesn't mean I'm a horribly wild and reckless driver, it just means that you put me in the driver's seat, add some traffic with some crazy pedestrians and I will curse until I've parked. I will get pissed off even at the street children that keep wiping the windshield when it's raining. I will honk my horn from my tiny Suzuki Swift until I don't see your car. If cars didn't break and people didn't get hurt in them, the drivers out there would have been bumped by me endlessly. I will not stop until they realize just how stupid they are.

I suck because at the age of thirteen, I wanted to be a fashion designer and I dressed up like a freakin' hobo. Okay, maybe that's taking it too far. But looking back, what I would wear was just disgusting. I would have puked at myself if I could.

I suck because if you're doing something you really shouldn't be doing, I will tell. I can be a tattletale but only because I have to follow rules. If I have to do it, so should you.

I suck because I pretend to be German by using a fake German accent and when I start speaking in Filipino, I start to speak with a Chinese accent. I suck because I can't stop. After a few days of speaking like that, I lost control of my own speech. Even my grammar started getting mixed up that my mind was getting insanely retarded, not knowing what "language" to speak in.

I suck because I'm bipolar. I'll like you on second the next, I'll want to stab you with a knife. I will be your friend, then ultimately hate you after.

I suck because I am this tall giant who scares people away. I suck because when people see me, they think I'm some smoking bitch that loves to party.

Lastly, I suck because I always say I'm awesome even though I know I'm not.

By Mirabai Sebastian